In His Presence

Lord,

I’m here.

I’m listening.

I’m available.

Still my heart and mind as I intentionally choose to slow down for you. I’m a Martha. It’s a Martha world. We live our lives at a pace you never wanted for us. Teach me to be a Mary. Teach me to slow down, put aside distractions, and sit at your feet. I want to hear every word you have for me. I want you to still my heart and mind. I want to enjoy your presence.

Even now, it’s hard. Thoughts rushing through my mind. My endless to-do list. Still my sould. Show me how to hear your voice again.

I long for the days when I had such intimacy with you, when I heard your tender whispers at every junction of my life. I know it was in the hardest, most painful season of life, a time when I was broken-hearted. But, of course, you met me there be cause you tell us you are near the broken hearted (Psalm 34:18). I don’t necessarily want the pain, but I do want your presence.

So many memories of your nearness. I think of Jacob (Genesis 48) on his death bed recounting your faithfulness throughout his life. I know how he felt as he reflected on your presence in his life in spite of the many hardships he faced. Just this weekend, as I spent time trying to encourage someone to cling to you, to count it all joy (James 1:2), I couldn’t stop the smile from creeping across my faith as I recounted your faithfulness to me. You were with me in my divorce, in the painful days of loss and betrayal. You were with me in the weary days of single-parenting. You were with me in the days of navigating the waters of grief.

And you are still with me today.

Now, I find myself in a season of so much blessing! You have been so, so good to us. It’s been fun to watch Roy transform from a broken shell to the man he is today, a man who is so grateful for his kids–even if they aren’t his biological kids. Wow! You have changed us over the years! Thank you. I am beyond grateful.

Now, all I seek is your Presence. All I need is your voice. Hear my plea in the beauty of this season as I seek all of you–by giving you all of me.

Make me a Mary, content to sit at your feet and worship.

Teach me to be still and know that you are God (Psalm 46:10).