Gary Thomas has become one of my favorite authors and marriage mentors. There was a time when I didn’t feel this way, mostly because his book Sacred Marriage was used as a weapon to tell me I should have stayed in my marriage. While I agree that marriage is sacred and divorce should never be…
Three years ago, Lysa Terkeurst and her husband stood before man and God and renewed their vows following a painful separation after infidelity. They gave so much hope to those walking the painful journey of infidelity, a reminder that God is able. And God truly is able. He is able to heal the most broken…
On New Year’s Eve, Lysa TerKeurst, founder of Proverbs 31 ministries, announced her marriage is ending after nearly 30 years. It’s been several years since she made a similar announcement and I penned the following words to her. You see, in 2017 she announced her husband had been unfaithful and she was pursuing a legal…
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed with life? Felt like you were struggling just to keep your nose above water and keep breathing? Thought you simply couldn’t continue putting one foot ahead of the other? Maybe you were shattered by adultery. Perhaps the pain of infertility was ripping your heart into pieces. The death of…
Since I frequently write about adultery, divorce, and abuse, I also follow a number of Christian writers who focus on these topics. Most of the time, I find great compassion and a desire to help the church better understand the plight of those of us who have experienced this type of victimization. I have used…
As I sat through the funeral service, I couldn’t concentrate on the words being spoken. I kept hearing a still, small voice in my head. “Extend forgiveness,” the voice urged. It was my first time back in this church building since my husband had resigned his position as pastor of the congregation nearly five months…
Divorce. The word alone strikes fear into the heart of people. Maybe you lived through your parents’ divorce. Maybe you watched friends’ marriages suffer the ultimate destruction. Maybe you’ve walked that dreaded path…or you fear your marriage is heading down that road now. I’m not sure there’s another pain in this life that compares to…
The more I talk with people who have walked the dark path of adultery, the more I realize not all affairs are the same. I have a dear friend who walked the dark, painful days of adultery with me. Her husband had been a pastor at a local church when he had an affair. Through…
Sometimes I feel like a broken record. I recently read a Facebook post in a Christian group. The author was asking a question about how and when to explain to the kids the reasons behind the divorce, namely adultery. Most of the comments—whether right or wrong—were kind and gracious. Until that one person had to…
Have you heard the term “sanctity of marriage?” I typically hear this phrase thrown around to say that marriage should be protected at all costs, that divorce is never an option, that a Christian couple should never throw in the towel under any circumstances. I’m not sure, however, that is the proper use of the…
Several months ago, I wrote about the biblical story of Abigail and Nabal. You can read it here. This story has always been an intriguing one to me. I’m not sure why it has always captivated me. Maybe it is because Nabal was so cruel. Maybe it was because Abigail was such an amazing example….
Abigail and Nabal represent the classic narcissistic, abusive husband and a godly, empathic wife. It’s a story that plays out over and over in society today, in churches around the world.