Ashes to Beauty

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
    for the Lord has anointed me
    to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
    and to proclaim that captives will be released
    and prisoners will be freed.
He has sent me to tell those who mourn
    that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
    and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
To all who mourn in Israel,
    he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
    festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
    that the Lord has planted for his own glory. Isaiah 61:1-3

The story of the gospel is truly the story of God taking our messes and creating something beautiful from our stories. It’s all throughout scripture.

Let’s think about it. Scripture is not quiet about the stupidity of us humans.

Abraham lied to protect himself when he told Sarah to say she was his sister. God blessed him anyway. Genesis 12:10-20

Moses murdered a man in Egypt before fleeing to the desert. It was in the desert he encountered a burning bush and was called by God. Exodus 2 and 3

David was an adulterer and a murderer and yet he was known as a man after God’s own heart. He was chosen to be the father of the permanent lineage on the king of Israel. 2 Samuel 11

Jesus met the woman at the well. Talk about making a mess of her life! She had been married five times and was living with a man to whom she was not married. She lived her life in shame and humiliation. Yet, Jesus called her to a new life, a life of freedom from her past. John 4:1-42

And then there’s Lazarus. He was a dear friend of Jesus, but Jesus allowed him to die a physical death. Why? Because He knew there was going to be more to the story. He knew that death–all forms of death–can be an avenue of finding redemption, of finding this new life of freedom and abundance that Jesus talked about in John 10:10. Lazarus physical death was an opportunity for Jesus to show His power over any death, to show that our messes can simply be an avenue of giving God the glory. John 11:1-42 (Read more here.)

I could go on and on about the messes we create and how God redeems them. Think Saul who persecuted Christians and then God changed his identity and he authored the majority of the New Testament. Or Rahab who was a prostitute but her identity was changed because of her faith and she ended up in the lineage of Jesus. Or Noah who, even though he was a drunkard, was the only righteous man on earth and was chosen to continue God’s plans through humans. Or the many people Jesus healed their sight and their lame legs and made them whole. I could go on and on. But instead, I simply reming you of this beautiful promise that changes everything:

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

I’ve spent over a decade telling you my story, telling of God’s grace in the midst of the most painful days of my life. I’ve lived my own version of the Job story, of losing everything that gave me security. As I watched my marriage crumble under the weight of adultery and saw my ministry stripped away, I somehow knew God had allowed this pain for a bigger reason.

And I’ve spent over fifteen years trying to figure out the next step.

I know God has given me a message. I read an amazing book by Jamie Winship titled Living Fearless. In this book, Winship encourages his readers to ask God to speak His identity over them, to find out what God calls each person individually. Winship’s identity is that of a peaceful warrior. As I asked God to speak His identity over me, I was led to the passage above in Isaiah 61. He simply called me His anointed.

It’s no secret to me. I’ve known since I was a young child that I was called to be a minister. It’s always been in my mind, haunting every thought. Since losing my title of pastor’s wife, I’ve struggled to figure out exactly what my calling looks like in this season of my life. I’ve attempted to fill that void through so many things. I’ve had opportunities to share my story, but I still know there’s more.

I am going to let you in on a little secret. You may know that I left my full-time job as a nurse almost two years ago. It was a step of faith–and it continues to be a faith journey. We could absolutely use the money of my full-time job, but God has been faithful to supply our needs. I am grateful for the work He has done in my life over the last two years, teaching me (again) dependence on Him instead of my own strength. But, it’s also been a journey of trying to figure out what He has for me, what my purpose is in this season of life.

And I think I’ve found it!

I have a dear friend I have known for over 30 years. We actually me when our husbands (my now ex-husband) were in seminary together! We have been meeting virtually for over two years now, sharing our hearts and praying together for each other and our families. It has been such a joy to see God answer so many prayers!

Over the last few months, we’ve begun to sense God moving us to do more. While I don’t have details, I am excited to announce the Ashes to Beauty conference we will be launching this fall. The plans are to have a three-four day retreat on the beach where we will gather for teaching, worship, and healing. Attendees will also be able to select from services such as massages and facials and possibly more! It will be a time where you can bring your hurt and your pain and let God heal it in the community of like-minded women. Our goal is to eventually have a series of retreats for different audiences from women to young adults to single moms to married couples to veterans.

I am so excited to have the opportunity to move into some face-to-face relationships and to fulfill the calling God has placed on my life.

How can you help? First, pray. Ask God to reveal His plans. We do not want to do anything in our own power, but we want to be vessels for honor, sanctified, useful to the master, prepared for every good work (2 Timothy 2:21). Second, consider joining us. I would love to meet you personally and have the opportunity to spend time with you. There’s something special about community, something that deepens our relationships with God.

If you are interested in attending, please either comment or send me an email at [email protected]. I would love to add you to our mailing list so we can keep you updated as the plans unfold to help you find beauty in the broken life!

God bless!