Transforming Lives

Have you ever encountered something and immediately known it was life-changing? That’s where I find myself today.

I’ve shared about this crazy journey God has been leading me on in my professional life. Several weeks ago, I walked away from a very comfortable salary and a team that I absolutely love. However, I knew without a doubt it was God leading me–a decision that continues to be confirmed with each passing day. I am trying to settle into a new position that allows me to work three days/week so I can focus on my passion: coaching for transformation.

Over the last few months, I’ve been studying The 5 Voices from GiANT Worldwide. Can I just tell you that it is absolutely life-changing? (If you would like more information, click here.) Let me illustrate the power through a little interaction between Roy and me.

Let me start by saying I am a Nurturer/Guardian in The 5 Voices. I love people and order. I am risk averse, and I easily lose myself by giving so much of myself away. I am all about relational harmony, and when a relationship becomes strained, I often pull away. It’s not intentional; I simply don’t like relational tension. It is who God created me to be, and I embrace it fully.

However, I am also resistant to change. It’s one of my tendencies, and I have to be very careful about how I dig my heels in and refuse to move forward.

Roy, on the other hand, is a classic Connector. He is like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, full of boundless energy and optimism. He loves to dream big and vocalize his excitement and passion about the next great thing. He loves to help people through connecting them with the right person or right resource. Everyone is his close friend, even if he just met them at the local coffee shop yesterday. He loves to be the in the center of everything.

However, he tends to think his ideas are brilliant, and takes it as personal rejection when someone doesn’t immediately embrace his brilliance.

Do you see the problem yet?

Yes, Roy is all about moving forward to the next brilliant idea, and I am resistant to change. As you can imagine, that can create some conflict at times.

Now, keep in mind that I just took a huge pay cut, something we discussed and agreed was the right decision. We both are completely confident God is in this decision, and He is about to do something amazing. However, I am the conservative person struggling with the day-to-day management of a lower income. I also struggling with seeing money as security, a mindset God is trying to change.

We were recently discussing an opportunity to attend a conference, but it would have cost well over $500 just for the hotel. Of course, that’s on top of some additional training he has to complete later in the month. All of the training comes with a price tag, and I could sense my anxiety around all of the expenses coming in. We had discussed the conference and decided to forgo this particular training.

As we were driving back from a date one night, Roy, with his Tigger-like enthusiasm, presented me with one of his brilliant connector ideas. His desire was definitely for me to see the brilliance and go all-in immediately!

But, with my slow-to-warm-up, resistant to change, nurturer/guardian voice, I didn’t give him the celebration he was expecting. Instead, my guardian came out and I immediately began to ask questions. I could sense the anxiety welling up inside me as we talked about the financial implications. The conversation became a little tense. And then, my Tigger took a cheap shot at me.

My nurturer heart was broken.

I began to withdraw into my shell.

The tears began to stream down my face.

And Tigger immediately felt bad for his response.

As I’ve studied The 5 Voices, I’ve come to understand why this interaction (and others) often lead to unexpected outcomes. You see, I threw a wet blanket on Roy’s brilliant (and it was brilliant) idea with my need to know the details. He took it as a personal rejection of him. Neither was intended. But the more I understand about our voices, the more I understand how valuable it is to all of my relationships. You see, if Roy and I had understood that Roy needed celebration and I needed details and it’s just who God created us to be, the entire conversation could have played out differently. I could have celebrated Roy’s idea and simply asked if I could get some additional details.

Roy has been a little resistant to learning about The 5 Voices until I began to read to him about the Connector. As we read about its strengths and weaknesses, he began to see how he automatically reacts based on his personality, and how it affects me. He immediately asked, “How do I become a mature Connector?”

And that’s the brilliance of GiANT and The 5 Voices. You see, they provide all kinds of tools to help you understand yourself, to give you the freedom to be exactly who God created you to be. It helps you learn some of your tendencies–both good and bad–so you can capitalize on the good tendencies and figure out how to change the bad tendencies. These tools help you develop emotional intelligence and learn to build better relationships, stronger teams. And the tools can be implemented in your family or at work.

God has created us fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:14), and He sees us as His masterpieces created for good works (Ephesians 2:10). And it’s so fun to see how God can use such simple but profound tools to help mold us into His image and help us be the best version of us we can!