Who Am I?

Who are you?

There are so many answers to that question. We wear many titles. For me, I am wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt. I am a nurse and currently an entrepreneur. I am a coach and a friend.

I could also add titles that I never wanted to wear. Titles like divorced. Abuse survivor. Sinner. Betrayed. Single mom. I’ve been through experiences that have left me accused of horrible things. I’ve been falsely accused of child abuse and neglect. I’ve been fired from a job. I’ve been wrongly accused of adultery. So many titles that could make me live in shame and regret.

But the most important titles I wear are Child of God, princess, daughter of the King of Kings. I am the apple of His eye, His beloved, a royal priesthood. I am chosen, forgiven, redeemed, and free.

I. Am. Loved!

Over the years, I have found ways to reinvent myself, to rediscover those things that make me feel alive! I’ve been a runner until I was injured and forced to be a walker. I’ve been an artist. I’ve been a writer. I’ve been a mentor to single moms. I’ve been a country girl and a city girl. I’ve lived for moments of excitement, and I’ve lived for moments of calm.

The fact is that I – like all of us – am multi-faceted. I am adaptable. I am writing my own script for this thing called life. I am learning each and every day who I am, the purpose for which I was created. I am leaning into the Father to let Him guide my steps and teach me who I am—the good, the bad, AND the ugly.

What about you? Are you taking a long, hard look in the mirror to discover who YOU are?

I came across this tool not too long ago that really helps me take a look and discover who I am. It’s simply called “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself.” You see, we cannot become the best version of ourselves unless we truly take the time to know ourselves, to understand our personalities, our strengths, our weaknesses. I suspect we all want to create an amazing life for ourselves and our families, but not knowing ourselves just might be sabotaging that experience.

So here’s the tool: a simple infinity loop that encourages you to take a deep look at your tendencies—both good and bad—to understand how those tendencies are creating your reality.

Let me explain it by using one of my tendencies.

I am a planner. I value security. I am risk averse. I need the security of knowing the path forward. It’s an innate part of my personality, of who God created me to be. It’s not a bad thing. It actually helps keep me and my family safe. It balances out my sweet husband who is full-speed ahead without thinking through the consequences. It’s a needed tendency.

When kept in check.

You see, while my risk averse nature helps me avoid unnecessary risks, it can also cause me to shut down risks that could create incredible opportunities. Where I tend to play it safe, it’s often in risks that we find the greatest reward.

For example, God called me to step away from my full-time position last year. Ummm… for my risk-averse self, I needed the details. How are we going to pay the bills? How am I going to get my daughter through her last two years of college? We have a mortgage and other responsibilities. I can’t just walk away from my income.

I have spent the vast majority of my adult life working, bringing home a stable paycheck that has gradually increased over the years. I’ve achieved a level of success in my career, a level that has provided a comfortable living for us. My risk-averse self says it’s on me to work to ensure we can stay afloat.

My tendency would be to not take a risk, to continue working myself to death, fighting for every dime, sacrificing our present lives to ensure I keep working. My tendency would be to think it’s my responsibility to keep working, to put my trust in my ability to earn a paycheck.

My tendency (risk-averse) leads to my action (run myself into the ground). The consequence is that I sacrifice my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health to keep running the rat race. My reality is that I struggle to see God make my dreams a reality, I am unhealthy in many ways, my family suffers because of my unhealthy reality.

What if I changed all of that?

My tendency is still to be risk-averse. But, I recognize that my risk-averse mentality can have a negative affect on my life and prevent me from taking calculated risks. I recognize God has called me to step away into the unknown and trust Him instead of my paycheck. I choose to walk in obedience instead of fear, allowing me to become healthy and happy. My reality is that I am in a better place than I’ve been in years and everyone around me is benefiting. I am experiencing the provision of God and learning to trust Him at a deeper level.

And that’s how the “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself” tool works. You begin by identifying your tendencies. Keep a log of them. Understand how your tendencies (positive or negative) create your reality and the consequences. Understand how your reality could be changed by simply changing your actions, your way of acting and thinking. Create the life you want by understanding who you are.

Here’s the thing: God created you perfectly and wonderfully (Psalm 139). You are His masterpiece created for great works (Ephesians 2:10). No matter your tendencies, it is the way God created you and it is perfect, exactly who you need to be.

But, we all have areas of improvement. We all have tendencies we need to identify and learn to function with them, allowing God to use them to help us know Him better. These are the areas in which we must learn to turn to God and let Him show us how to be dependent on Him.

Will you join me in recognizing your tendencies and beginning the process of allowing God to use them to make us more like Him?