Confession and Surrender

Confession and surrender.

I think we would all agree that confession and surrender are key components of the Christian life.

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16

Confession is an important part of healing. It cleanses our soul and gives us accountability to change.

Let me tell you a little story about the last two years…

Two years ago, I felt God calling me to a step of faith. I had no idea what that step would require of me, but I began to listen carefully. It soon became obvious.

God was telling me to quit my job.

As a very risk averse personality, I was very confused. I had complete confidence in what I was hearing from God, but I also needed to know how we would pay our bills. My income was the primary source of income, and I have always worked hard to provide for myself and my family.

And that’s when God really began to work on my heart. So many verses came over me.

No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. Matthew 6:24

God began to show me how I had always depended on my own efforts, my own ability to earn a paycheck rather than Him, my Jehovah Jireh. I began to see how—without even realizing it—I had been serving the Almighty dollar rather than God Himself.

It truly was a gut-punch.

As my husband and I began to talk through it, I began to see how my job was robbing me of my joy in this life. I began to see how I was always striving for more. Sure, I knew it all came as a gift from God, but so much of my purpose had been postponed until another day when I no longer needed to earn so much money.

In the process, I was dying a slow, painful death inside.

In America, we are taught to be strong and independent. We are taught to work hard, that working 40+ hours every week is the way to be successful in this world. We are taught that we grow up, get a job, and give so much of life to our employer it often seems there is little left for our family and our purpose. God really began to convict me of the way I was living and how I was becoming like the culture around me.

I began to make preparations to step away from my job. Although I was ready to simply walk away, I sensed God calling me to be strategic. I began to make an exit strategy, to ensure I was walking away with everything in place as best I could. And, about a year ago, I walked through the doors of the hospital for the last time.

There was truly a relief that washed over me!

And that’s where the test began. Would God be faithful? Would He step in and provide? Would He build the business I know He called me to?

The last year has been interesting. Yes, God has been faithful. Through a little part-time job that I love to a rather large, unexpected deposit, we’ve not missed a beat. No, we haven’t put money into our savings or our retirement accounts, but we’ve had food on the table and the bills are paid. We’ve even done some extra things around the house that we had put off for years.

But I wasn’t seeing the increase in my business.

So many times, I’ve cried out to God wondering when He would do what He told me He would do. So many times I’ve begged Him to show up. So many time I’ve reminded Him of the promise He made to me on that September morning two years ago.

I’ve often felt I was doing the right thing but not seeing the results. I know God is the One who gives the increase; my job is to be faithful to the day-to-day work. But it’s hard to wait, especially when you see all of those around you succeeding. But I kept hearing not to get weary in doing good because in due time I would reap what I was sowing (Galatians 6:7-9).

And that leads us to the last few weeks. About two weeks ago, I was out for my morning walk. It suddenly hit me: although I had been obedient, I had never truly confessed my heart-attitude as sin. As I processed this thought, I began to weep. I began to tell God how sorry I was for trusting money more than Him, that I truly wanted to be dependent on Him. I began to ask Him what I needed to do to repent of my sins.

I knew the answer almost immediately. I asked my husband to call me when he had a few minutes. When he called, I said, “I need to say this before I change my mind. Would you take over our finances?” I was truly releasing control of the one area that has held me hostage for so long. We also shared this experience with our small group (remember James 5:16).

And do you know what happened?

In June, I applied to be a breakout speaker at the Oklahoma Nurse Association annual conference. I thought it would be a great venue for me to share my coaching and to make some contacts that might began to move my business forward. Several of us had been praying over this opportunity.

Last Monday, I received an email. I did not get the breakout session. Instead, they asked me to do the opening KEYNOTE! Can we say Ephesians 3:20 moment?!? As I spoke with the organizer of the event, I clearly saw—and continue to see—God’s hand all over this opportunity.

• It’s unexpected.
• It’s more than I asked.
• It’s an open door.
• It comes after a moment of true repentance.

My friends, do not get weary in pushing forward. If God has called you to something, He will see you through. Enjoy the time of rest because your moment of breakthrough is coming!

His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!! Lamentations 3:22-23